


His Otter

by Herochick007



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24506128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herochick007/pseuds/Herochick007
Summary: The first time he saw the otter was the worst night of his life.  Spirit animals were supposed to lead one to their soulmate, so why wouldn't this one.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 12
Kudos: 210





	His Otter

The first time he saw the otter, he was staring at his fragmented reflection in the mirror. He has already shattered the mirror with his hand. He stared into the shard he'd picked up off the floor. It ended in a jagged point, with sharp edges on either side. 

He could just end it all right now. He knew the guilt would never disappear, he'd always know it was his fault she was dead. He could end it all now, never have to carry that burden, join her in whatever after life there was . He brought the glass to his wrist. A movement behind him caught his attention. He turned an saw a silvery otter, much like a patronus. It stared at him for a moment.  
“What are you?” he whispered reaching out to touch the strange creature. It flicked before disappearing entirely, leaving him to wonder if it had actually been there or if it had just been a grief fueled hallucination. 

Either way, he set the glass down, forgetting its siren song for the moment. That night the otter had saved him. That night everything changed in Severus' life. He took the position teaching at Hogwarts, knowing one day her son would grace his lab. One day, he would have to make good on the promise he made to protect the boy. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Severus took another swig from the bottle, well,at least he tried to. The bottle was empty at this point. He threw it against the wall. The trial had been a nightmare. He'd been cleared only because of Dumbledore. It was bad enough he owed the man for some stupid promise he'd made, a promise Dumbledore hadn't even upheld. Now he owed the madman his freedom. The shards of the smashed bottle sparkled in the flickering firelight. He summoned one and studied it. The memory of that night filled his mind. He remembered smashing the mirror, how he'd almost ended it then and there. A smile crossed his face.  
“I can't owe him if I'm dead,” he laughed. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, maybe it was the stress finally getting to him? He brought the glass shard to his skin. In the brief second before actually cutting himself, Severus felt someone watching him. He lowered the glass. Sitting at his feet was the otter. It tilted its head.  
“What do you want?” he snapped, nearly throwing the piece of glass at it. “I owe him my freedom! He's the reason she's dead. He promised to protect her! He failed!”  
The otter watched Severus scream, watched him rant about Dumbledore. It sat at his feet as he finally dropped the piece of glass. It climbed onto the arm of his chair, radiating a feeling of calm, of love. Severus ignored it. He didn't deserve love! Finally Severus finished ranting, having worn himself out, he fell asleep in the chair. The moment he started snoring the otter disappeared completely. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next time he saw the otter was in his third year of teaching. He had been sitting at his desk grading papers. He wanted to throw half of them in fire. The other half he could barely even tolerate. It was almost Halloween. It was almost the anniversary of her murder. He put down his quill and stared at the scrawled pieces of parchment before him.  
“I should just quit now, forget all of this. Who am I even doing this for? Dumbledore? He's a bloody madman, he didn't save her. The boy? The boy who could have been mine? The boy who will never appreciate anything I've ever done, not that he'll know any of it.”  
Severus had almost been to the point of storming from the room when the bluish white flash of movement caught his attention. He hadn't forgotten about that first encounter. He rose slowly, walked over to the corner.  
“You are real,” he whispered, bending down and studying the silvery creature. It looked up at him, its eyes shining with an emotion Severus couldn't define.  
“What are you?” he asked, reaching out. This time he was able to touch it. It felt like touching lightening itself. A wave of soft electricity ran through his arm. For a moment, a brief moment, he felt love, pure love.  
“So that's what you are,” he said, his voice full of disbelief. He'd heard of spirit animals. They supposedly would lead you to your soulmate. The very fact he had a soulmate shocked him. He'd been so sure he and Lily, now apparently there was someone out there.  
“Can you take me to her?” he asked. The otter flickered a few times before vanishing again.  
“I'll take that as a 'no',” he muttered, rising. He looked at the grading. Now that he knew there was someone out there, someone for him, he realized the task before him didn't seem so horrible.  
“Thank you,” he whispered to the empty room.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Severus threw the sheet of parchment into the fireplace. He'd seen the names written on, the students starting Hogwarts this year. He'd known this was coming. He'd known Lily and James' son would be starting this year.  
“Why?” he muttered. “Why should I protect him? Why does Dumbledore even have that stupid stone here?” he asked.  
“Yip!” a noise answered him. He felt the smile start on his face. The otter was back. He spun looking for it. This time, it was sitting on his desk, where another copy of the student roster had appeared. Severus walked back over to his desk.  
“You're back. Why do you only show up when I'm thinking of leaving this place?” he asked. The otter didn't answer, but Severus swore it was more solid this time, less translucent.  
“I need to stay at the school for some reason? Does that mean my soulmate is going to be coming here? A new professor?” he asked. The otter rolled around on the desk, watching Severus. Yes, it was much more solid this time. If his research was correct, that mean he would be meeting his soulmate soon. He slowly reached out. The otter froze, watching him. It's eyes were still filled with love. Gently Severus ran his long fingers over its small head. The feeling of love washed over him and he could only hope the witch would feel the same once she saw him. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Severus cursed. The Potter boy had almost gotten himself killed, and he'd roped the Granger girl and the youngest Weasley into it. The stone was gone now. Why the old fool had even had it here was beyond him. Of course, the Dark Lord would be back for it. How could he not be?  
“Yip!”  
“Oh, you're back too?” he asked, looking at the otter. It was still blue and silver, but now was completely solid. He frowned. How could it be solid? Had he met his soulmate? Who had she been? He didn't remember meeting any new witches.  
“Can you take me to her?” he asked. The otter shook its head before vanishing before his eyes.  
“Hmm,” he murmured, wondering exactly why the creature couldn't lead him to her. Was there something else that needed to happen? Was she not ready to meet him? He hated having all these questions, but for a moment, one glorious moment, his mind had been off Potter and his little gang. He wondered what preposterous nonsense Dumbledore had in mind for next year.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The otter was waiting for him as he returned from the infirmary. It was curled into a little ball, as if sleeping.  
“What are you doing here?” he asked. It didn't respond. For a moment, he worried that something was wrong with it. There were so many other things going wrong this year. The Chamber had been opened. The students were being petrified. That pompous arse was teaching Defense. At least he didn't have to listen to Granger's voice. She was one of the ones petrified. He poked at the tiny otter. 

It raised its head, blinked at him a few times. It's eyes were dim. He frowned. What had happened to the love? Was his soulmate injured, sick, no longer in love with him? The idea that something could have happened to her made his chest hurt. All these years, the thought of her, of finding her, was one of the few things that was keeping him from going insane and murdering Dumbledore.  
“I'll find her, I'll help her,” he whispered. “But I don't know who she is, could you please take me to her?” he asked the creature. It flickered as it did before it disappeared. This time, though, it stayed for a moment. He petted it gently. It still felt like pure love as he petted the soft fur, but only now it was muted.  
“No, you still can't tell me who she is? I will find her,” he promised as the otter flickered again and vanished leaving several silvery blue strands of fur on his desk. He picked them up and stared at them. The fact the creature trusted him enough with its own fur, a powerful ingredient, meant he would have to trust it to lead him to his witch when the time was right. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

“Idiot!” Severus yelled. He was starting to think he was cursed. He'd had Black! He'd had his childhood bully dead to rights. The fact he was innocent didn't matter. He may have been innocent of this crime, but the fact he'd almost gotten Severus killed made him guilty enough. 

He'd been on his way to Dumbledore's office to complain, to accuse him of being behind this whole thing, the idiotic man had always favored the Gryffindors, when he nearly tripped over the otter. It wrapped itself around his legs.  
“You? What are you doing here now? Is she near?” he asked. The otter yipped at him and darted off. He quickly gave up on his mission to scream at Dumbledore and followed the otter. It got to the end of the corridor before it stopped.  
“What's wrong?” he asked, looking around. The otter seemed confused. “Did you lose her? How could you lose her?” he asked, looking confused. The otter looked back at him, seemed to split into two otters before merging together and disappearing again. Severus stood there, trying to understand what had just happened. For a brief moment there had been two otters, meaning, somehow there were two of the exact same witch. He'd never heard of such a thing happening, even with polyjuice potion, it wouldn't have had that effect.  
“Two,” he whispered. “She was in two places at the same time,” he said, his eyes widening as he suddenly realized two things. One, how Sirius had managed to escape, and two, who his soulmate could be. He remembered in the beginning of term, Dumbledore had been talking about giving a student a time turner, Miss Granger in particular. Using it, she would have been in two places at once. No, that made no sense. She was thirteen, fourteen? It didn't matter, she could not possibly be his soulmate. There had to be another explanation. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The otter was dripping on his desk. It was dripping on his papers.  
“Why?” he asked it. “Why are you wet?”  
The otter didn't answer. Severus only shook his head, he'd started to grow accustomed to the creature showing up randomly. It was probably dripping because the witch was in the shower, or bathing, or swimming in the bloody Black Lake. He smirked thinking about the witch skinny-dipping. She'd be in trouble, what with the stupid second trial today. He sighed, realizing he should probably go watch Potter win the blasted thing. 

The stands were crowded, although there really wasn't anything to see. The otter had vanished again, he wasn't surprised. He thought he might be the only one who could see it. Wasn't that the way spirit animals worked? He wondered what his was, what his witch saw? 

His eyes turned to the water were a half transformed Viktor Krum was dragging Miss Granger from the lake. For a moment, his heart stopped. The connection was starting to become greater. The sick otter two years ago when Miss Granger had been petrified, the fact there had been two of them last year, now, the dripping wet otter as Hermione had been in the lake. No. She was a student and an annoying one at that. 

Severus cursed as the Mark burned on his arm. He apparated, fearing he wouldn't survive this time. Fearing that maybe this time, his lies would fail. This time, the Dark Lord wouldn't need him. He arrived later than the others. He bowed to his Master, the otter suddenly appearing on his shoulder. The Dark Lord made no indication he saw the creature. Apparently only Severus could see it after all. 

Something about the otter helped Severus get through the curses, through the interrogation. The otter didn't disappear until he was back at school, collapsed safely in his own bed. The otter hadn't abandoned him, that meant his witch would stand by him, didn't it? 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The otter seemed to appear every time Severus met with Lord Voldemort. He came to appreciate its company. Its presence reminded him that what he was doing would work. No witch would want to be with a Death Eater, being a spy was a different story. He wasn't all dark. 

The otter hated Umbridge. It floofed itself up whenever the pink abomination was in the same room. Severus couldn't help but notice how constant the otter's presence had become. He wasn't sure what that meant in the grand scheme of things. Did it mean soon he'd find her? Or that she was thinking of him? There was something he'd read about spirit animals appearing more often if one's soulmate was thinking of them. 

That foolish girl! He knew she was behind the D.A. He could recognize her charmwork anywhere. Just because Dumbledore either couldn't see it, or pretended he didn't, didn't matter. Severus had to smile. Miss Edgecomb was certainly never going to snitch again. Part of him felt he should turn Miss Granger in. Was what she'd done any better than the bullies of his youth? 

He found he couldn't do it. Slowly, he was starting to admire her work, her dedication to her studies. She was sixteen now, wasn't she? What did it matter? There was no way she was his soulmate, she hated him, same as Potter. Of course, he had to be cruel, imagine if Lord Voldemort thought he was soft on the boy? His loyalties would be called into question faster than the otter could appear and disappear. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He'd gotten it! He'd finally gotten the Defense position! Never mind the fact Slughorn couldn't brew his way out of a paper sack. Never mind how brilliant Severus was at potions. He had finally gotten what he wanted. 

Soon, he'd have another thing he'd dreamed of since this whole mess had begun. The fool had put a cursed ring on his finger. He'd be dead before the end of the term. Of course, he was even more thrilled he'd be one holding the wand that killed the fool. 

The otter was sitting on his new desk. It always found him. He barely glanced at it as he got his classroom ready.  
“Good morning,” he greeted it. It yipped happily as the sixth year Gryffindors filed into the classroom. Miss Granger grabbed a seat near the front. Severus tried not to look at her. She'd grown over the summer. He knew she'd be of age soon. He'd seen her name on the list of students that would be learning apparation this term. He smiled thinking about how difficult it could be to master. The otter disappeared as he started teaching. 

Horcruxes. That's how Lord Voldemort had done it. Severus couldn't believe it, well, he could, but that was serious magic. Magic most people only dreamed of.  
“What do you think?” he asked the otter, who had suddenly appeared on his shoulder. It looked at him with a worried expression.  
“She's going to hate me, isn't she?” he asked. He knew the time was coming. He knew he'd have to kill Dumbledore sooner rather than later. He knew whoever his witch was, not Miss Granger! Would not know the whole story. She'd think he was a murderer.  
“Isn't there some way you can tell her the truth?” he asked, knowing the witch probably didn't even know the otter existed. He wondered if the spirit animal she saw would reassure her about him.

It was done. Dumbledore was dead. Everyone hated him. Well, everyone who wasn't on the same side as Lord Voldemort. He sighed with relief. It was over. That part of his life, being controlled by Dumbledore was over. Now he only had one master to pretend to serve. One master who had promised him the headmaster position. Severus smiled. For a moment, he had almost everything he wanted. Everything except the witch who came with the otter. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The otter was glittery. That was Severus' first thought as it appeared before him. That meant his witch was glittery? Why would a witch be glittery? He shook his head. It didn't matter. The otter was here, that meant she was alive, hopefully safe. 

He knew the ministry had fallen. He and the other Death Eaters had crashed a wedding. Wedding. Witches got dressed up for those, got dazzled up for those. He slammed his hand against the desk. It throbbed. The otter spooked and disappeared.  
“She was at the wedding!” he exclaimed. “I could have killed her,” he whispered, the thought sobering him up quickly. The fact the wedding had been held at the Burrow didn't slip his mind. He knew Potter had been there, therefore so had Miss Granger. The fact Miss Granger seemed to keep appearing, her appearance matching that of the otter, was starting to become too obvious to ignore. 

“Be careful,” he muttered, looking around his new office. He stared at the portrait of Phineas Black, wondering why he was staring back.  
“The girl, she's safe,” the portrait stated.  
“How do you know?” Severus asked.  
“She's at the disgrace's residence. How my family could fall into such disgrace,” the portrait whined. Severus sighed with relief. She was at Grimmauld Place. She was safe. 

The portrait kept track of Miss Granger. Severus also kept an eye on the otter whenever it appeared. He noticed the otter getting thinner and worried. He knew Miss Granger, Potter and the Weasley boy were on the run. They hadn't returned at the start of term. He hadn't expected them to. 

No, he had to deal with a whole new set of problems. Miss Weasley and her friends seemed hellbent on causing as much trouble as possible. He even found them in his office trying to steal the sword of Gryffinor. Thankfully, he managed to save them from detention with the Carrows. 

The otter seemed pleased at Severus' efforts to keep up appearances while managing to keep Miss Granger's friends safe. He was becoming more and more convinced Miss Granger was the witch. She was brilliant, she enjoyed reading, she had never seemed afraid of him. He remembered one time, he's heard her defending him. He smiled. Once this was over, he'd have to sort this out. Could she even possibly love him back?

The war was coming closer and closer to home. Students were disappearing. The locket was destroyed. Severus could feel the Dark Lord's scrutiny on him. He had a feeling he wasn't going to survive this war. He started brewing antivenoms. That's how the Dark Lord had tried to kill Arthur Weasley. It stood to reason, having them wouldn't be a bad idea. 

They were here. Potter and his friends were here. He saw Miss Granger, saw her glance at him, a curious expression on her face. Did she know? Did she know there was a chance her and him were soulmates? She was gone an instant later having disappeared into the fray of battle. 

He'd been right. That was his only thought as the snake reared up at him. He'd already taken on of the potions he'd made. He only hoped it would be enough. He saw the world go black. Heard Lord Voldemort yelling in triumph. 

“Sir, you need to wake up. Come on, I think you're supposed to drink this? The doe says to drink this, well, not says exactly. Here.”  
Severus felt something cold being poured down his throat. He knew what is was; one of the antivenoms. Someone was trying to save him. He tried to open his eyes. He managed for a second. There was the otter. It was sitting behind the blurry shape before him. The blurry shape of a witch, slowly becoming clearer and clearer.  
“Oh, good. You're not dead. Thank Merlin. I was terrified when the doe kept flickering back and forth, it went intangible even!”  
“Miss Granger,” he croaked.  
“Don't try and speak sir. I should explain. I think the doe is a soul creature? I think it might be yours? It lead me here, to you. I think, you're stable now?”  
Severus could hear the worry in her voice.  
“You are the otter,” he rasped. “My otter,” he whispered. He could see her smile.  
“So, that's what I was. Speaking of otters,” she drew her wand. “Expecto Patronum!” Severus watched as her patronus, an otter, flew from her wand.  
“Go tell Madame Pomfrey Professor Snape is alive, injured but alive in the Shrieking Shack.”  
Severus watched the otter dart off.  
“Now that we've got that taken care of, help should be here soon. I guess we should get to know one another? Being soulmates and all?” she suggested, sitting on the floor next to him. He gave her a weak smile and nodded.  
“I first saw the doe in a dream,” Hermione started to say, Severus listening as she talked about her encounters with his creature. He smiled, finding comfort in the sound of her voice, glad he'd seen the otter that night. Glad he'd put down that glass shard because he realized he'd finally found someone worth living for.


End file.
